12 Things All Morning Exercisers Do (But Won’t Admit To)

It takes a special type of person to wake up at the crack of dawn for a sweat session, so it’s no surprise we have our own special (and little known) routines and habits. If you’ve been known to rise and grind, or should I say spin, you’re part of an elite group of early-risers and probably relate to some of these habits only morning exercisers understand. (Check out how I fared during my month-long stint as a morning exerciser).  

1. We Don’t Mess With Our Sleep Schedules. Once we’ve found a nighttime routine that helps us get the Zzz’s we need to get up with the first alarm, we don’t mess with it. So while we might seem a little Type A for our little pm rituals, don’t give us shit for going to bed early and waking up before the crack of dawn…. Even on the weekends.

2. If We’re Up, We’re Going. The amount of time we spend staring at the ceiling, making laundry list of  reasons not to work out is never worth skipping it. We’ve learned that the second we make the decision to skip a workout our bodies will keep us awake judging us for skipping our pre-planned date with the squat rack.

3. We Don’t Care What We Look Like. Seriously, by now all the other early-birds have seen us at our morning worst (think: sheet streaks across our arms, dried drool right by our lip, and hair that resembles a nest after a bird-fight). While we might have had the wherewithal to pre-plan a semi-matching sweat-outfit the night before, our hair is always gonna look a little outta whack, our socks are never gonna match, and if we remember to put on deodorant, you’re lucky.

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4. …But We Look Weird. Add our just-outta-bed-look with the fact that we look constipated in every lifting video we take and this is, by far, our least-Instagrammable time of the day. Good thing out breakfast is elaborate and healthy, otherwise we’d have no way to brag about our healthy morning routines to the inter-world.

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5. We Use The Gym As Excuse Not To Go Out. “Sorry, I can’t come, I just booked a session at Barry’s Bootcamp at 5am” or “I can’t, I have an important date with a tall, strong, and peppy trainer”. TBH, we really just don’t want to go out. Plus, we do have to go to the gym in the morning. Priorities, duh.

6. We Love Breakfast. They don’t call it the meal of champions for nothing.

7. And We’re Hungry ALL. THE. TIME. We’d need at least three of our go-to breakfast to feel satisfied after a good morning workout. And saving our lunch for lunch time is a real struggle. Our metabolism is a monster that doesn’t care to be tamed.  

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8. Sniff-Checking Our Pits. Overhead press, lat pulldowns, downward dog, bench press. You name it, we’ve sniffed during it. As I said, we’re lucky if we remember deodorant.

9. We Low-key Think We’re Superior To Anyone Who Works Out At Any Other Time Of The Day. Because, well, it’s 5am… need I say more?

10. We’ve Definitely Slept in Our Workout Gear. Because it makes it that much easier to get to the gym in the morning. Plus, our new sweats are comfy AF.

11. We Basically Live Off Dry Shampoo and Travel Sized Toiletries. When we’re getting ready in the locker room five days a week, can you really blame us for keeping all of our beauty essentials in out bag? But, don’t expect us to show up to work with anything but wet hair. The time it takes to dry our manes it not worth the awkward conversations we know we’ll have to endure if we plug in the blow dryer.

12. We Feel Like Beyonce All Day. We crushed a CrossFit WOD and conquered the foam roller all before most people wake up? Yep, we’re pretty impressive. And can’t help it with we’re walking with a little bit of “I’m better than you” swag.

Featured image: @jaim91 on Instagram

Editors note: This article is an op-ed. The views expressed herein are the authors and don’t necessarily reflect the views of BarBend. Claims, assertions, opinions, and quotes have been sourced exclusively by the author.

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