In 2019, Tayla Howe decided to go all in on CrossFit and set her sights on becoming a full-time athlete to reach the CrossFit Games.
- Howe nearly qualified for the Games in both 2021 and 2022.
She placed 11th at the 2021 CrossFit Lowlands Throwdown Semifinals and eighth at the CrossFit Strength in Depth Semifinal in 2022 (the top five women qualified for the Games in both events). In 2022, Howe was also invited to the Last Chance Qualifier, where she placed 11th.
- A year later, Howe finished 20th at the 2023 Europe Semifinals.
During these years, Howe established herself as a serious contender out of Europe, picked up sponsors, and became a professional athlete.
But it came at a cost.
Losing Her Way
Somewhere along the way, Howe realized she had lost her love for the sport.
- “I think in this game, [I] very much feel like you’re doing it for other people most of the time. You know, you’re sponsored, you have to wear this when you’re on the floor, you have to take this supplement, you have to be on this program,” Howe, now 27, said. “It kind of became all a bit too much, and I kind of forgot why I was doing it…I wasn’t doing it for myself anymore.”
She added: “Even in 2022, when I just missed [qualifying for the Games], I can’t really say I took the floor and was thriving or enjoying it. I was just full of anxiety and stress and injuries.”
So last fall, Howe set herself on a quest to remember why she got into the sport in the first place.
She took off on vacation, first to Australia and then to Bali. But because she had qualified for the Dubai Fitness Championship, she decided to fly there and compete.
It didn’t go well. Physically and mentally, she just didn’t want to be there.
- “I got to Dubai, and I was just mentally and physically ill. I did the first two workouts, and I was like, ‘I can’t compete. I just can’t.’ My body was cramping. And then the emotional pain and the mental pain. It was just like, ‘I don’t know why I’m doing it…I had nothing in me that wanted to fight,” she said.
So, she withdrew from the competition and returned to Australia.
A New Athlete
Howe has moved back home to the UK, to Newcastle, with her boyfriend and training partner Reggie Fasa, another three-time Semifinals athlete. She is also working remotely with coach Antony Monks.
Today, Howe said she has returned to the way she approached the sport in the days before sponsors, agents, and pressure.
- “It’s that hobby feeling [again], and if I can earn money from it, amazing,” she said. “I’m in a really good space in my life, where I feel like I’m doing it for myself again. It feels good to be back in a place where I have untangled all that mess.”
Another change has been her relationship with Fasa. In the past, Howe said they hadn’t yet matured, and at times, there was almost a “jealous competitiveness” between them, she explained.
But now, Howe said they’re in a place where they’re “truly able to support each other.”
- “Now it’s, ‘I’m proud of you. Let’s go.’ And I know he’s going to be there [for me] the whole way,” she added.
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To ensure she stays more balanced, Howe has returned to coaching one-on-one clients and is also pursuing an online degree in counseling.
- “It gives me separation from CrossFit,” she said, adding that when she was a full-time athlete before, she had a lot of anxiety about what she was going to do if CrossFit suddenly ended.
Tayla Howe’s New Perspective
Today, Howe knows there’s more to life than CrossFit.
- “I definitely have that balance again, where if something happened, then I’ve got my life to fall back on. CrossFit isn’t the be-all and end-all. I have a life, and I can proceed with that after CrossFit,” she said.
Howe’s message: “Just always remember why you’re doing it. And if you ever start questioning it, it’s OK to step away and re-evaluate.
- “Stick to your core values. I definitely lost my whole self in that process, and it has taken me a long time to feel physically and mentally OK again,” she said.
Looking Ahead to Rogue
Howe insists she has “no expectations” for the 2024 Rogue Invitational.
- “I’m going into Rogue just literally being myself and just want to have fun. I feel like I haven’t done that for such a long time. I’ve got Reggie there; I’ve got my family there. And I feel like that’s all I need now. And I’m just excited for the whole experience,” she said.
Howe added: “It feels like I’m starting over, but in a whole different way, so I’m really excited to test that, and I’m just happy to compete.”
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Featured image: @taylakalisehowe / Instagram
